"Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk." – Doug Larson
97% of the population hears what is being said but only 3% of the population actually listens.
Listening requires active participation where there is a meaningful interchange of dialogue.
Each party truly attempts to understand the other individual’s point of view to the best of their ability. Gerald R. Ford had a great take on this, “I would hope that understanding and reconciliation are not limited to the 19th hole alone.”
If you listen instead of hearing, people will tell you everything that is on their mind.
What takes years to resolve now only takes minutes.
Really listening to someone clearly demonstrates your level of respect, concern, love and understanding of the situation at hand.
Check out George Bernard Shaw’s quote, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”
There is a huge difference between hearing and listening. Hearing implies the awareness of sound but listening is the conscious concentrated effort to understand what is being said. It takes effort but the end result pays huge dividends not only in the corporate culture but also in interpersonal relationships.
I call it the “left hand right hand” syndrome. Every day, you see this syndrome playing out in numerous conversations. People claim that they have heard what was said however their actions imply the opposite of what was said. The left hand must be aware and understand what the right hand is saying or doing and vice versa. Basically, “words are only words but action speaks volumes.”
One can only act when the information has been conveyed in a transparent matter.
There is a very simple solution to the above “say what you mean and mean what you say.” Break it down to the ridiculous in “byte sized” manageable pieces of information.
However, as soon as the insatiable ego steps into the mix, everything begins to go south. Common sense, logic and everything else that has the ability to stabilize the communication is out the window.
The amygdala now kicks everything into high gear and explosive emotions derail any possible solution.
Been there done that?
Yes!
To the best of our ability we must focus and listen attentively without the usual distractions.
This is my definition of the word focus.
Fierce, optimal concentration, unusually sustained.
One word for this is awareness. This is the ability to catapult your sensory and intellectual faculties towards warp speed.
In order to manifest this awareness, one needs to step up their desire for what it is that they truly want in life.
Wallace D. Wattles clearly stated this with the following quote, “Desire is the effort of the unexpressed possibility within seeking expression without through your actions.”
The operative word is action.
This phenomenon of hearing and not listening is a 21st century dilemma.
Everywhere people are distracted and the ability to really listen to what someone is saying is incredibly taxed.
The only tangible solution is awareness.
Strive to be more aware each and every day to the best of your ability.
Listening is far superior then hearing and always delivers incredible results beyond expectation.
Easy?
No.
It takes effort but the results are worth your time and energy.
Coach Franco Cianflone
1 ON 1 COACHING
Carpe Momentum
Mental Toughness For Life
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